Day 3 ~ August 18, 2010

I just have to let go of my attachment to pushing my practice in the sense of performance. There is this facet of the Ashtanga yoga practice that encourages practice 6 days a week. This has many implications. One of which is development of perseverance. If you meet difficulty, you acquire patience instead of the other option, giving up. While there is no need to be a martyr, consistency is a important theme. When the sensation of pain arises, there is the need to develop some understanding that this is an inevitable part of the experience. Sometimes there is severe pain, so intense, that the obvious is to not practice. Often has been my approach. So going into todays practice I was a bit hesitant. I am here for the full experience so I managed to make it to the top of my mat again. So intense…seemingly purely muscle spasm I got to Bakasana(crane/crow) and realized I couldn’t go further. Here is the inherent difficulty. I do not like to respect my boundaries. While this in many ways has helped shape me into the experience I have had, I am seeing perhaps this is why this is what I face right now. I went into finishing series, savasana, and to the lobby. This is when the tears came. I remember when practicing with a not so generous teacher as Tim, I was told that I looked like a baby when I cry. I am okay with this and somehow tears for me often signal the coming of a shift. I am so ready for the shift. I am also familiar that sometimes this work is long and arduous. For this I am ready. I found someone for massage and acupuncture to see if I can help encourage this to move along. Deep work!!! And then more deep work!! Now the end of the day and after so much I am thoroughly ready to rest. I learned so much during the sessions today. I caught up with an old friend tonight who loaned me a board so I can get out in the waves. He also shared some insights into the local scene spanning San Diego which proved for some great conversation. This is only my third day and I feel like my entire world view has shifted. The process of seeking help to alleviate or come to grips with pain has brought some very interesting and enlightening individuals into my life today. The people I am meeting are sharing stories that are convincing me that we live in an incredible era. The shifts we are experiencing are opening us up to a profound way of experiencing life. Sometimes I feel maybe this is how it has been all along and I am just catching on. Or perhaps life is a divine comedy and someone is just now letting me in on the joke. One way or another I am thankful for each moment here.

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

Swami Sunset

Above is a photo of last night’s sunset over Swami’s surf break in Encinitas. Stunning!!! Small swell and longboarders sliding all over.
Just finished Pranayama practice with Tim and crew. Excellent session. Tim is walking us through step by step with details along the way. It is so good to hear all of this again and broken down in this fashion because it just sets in deeper each time. I am finding myself really enjoying the pranayama practice. What I really appreciate is that we are learning/practicing the exact practice Tim learned 30 years ago from Pattabhi Jois. In this respect there is something very special about learning this tradition in the fashion that it has been passed from teacher to student and generation to generation. This facet of learning produces a connection to an oral tradition that has remained in tact and when surrounded by Tim’s expertise here feels very strong and alive!! As we sat in a circle, the sun rose from the east and slowly illuminated the space and it felt so warm and relaxing. I am so happy to be here. The yoga practice has this profound capability to open us up to our true nature which is of peace and tranquility. Our minds reflect what our senses absorb from the outside. When we turn the mirror inward our true senses appear which at first may seem gross and ugly, yet with further inquiry, deep down, is an unending peace. The more I continue this practice the more I want to share it with others. It seems like the yoga could be first and foremost, all else following along in this wake of understanding.
I went back to the studio at 8:40am because Tim said he was going to sing the Hanuman Chalisa, a traditional Hindi song dedicated to Hanuman, the half monkey man who is the ultimate embodiment of the devotee. Tim played the harmonium and he was accompanied by an acoustic guitar and acoustic bass. There was over 50 people there in between the transition of the 7 & 9am class. INCREDIBLE!!!!! The energy was tremendous. Only in Tim’s shala!!! We then got into our Mysore practice. I got to set up next to an old friend who busted out a flawless 3rd series. Truly inspirational. I got a few key adjustments in Bekasana(frog), Karandavasana(duck) and in drop backs. I peeled myself off the floor from a long savasana and am now diving into breakfast. What a day. Right now I am just squeezing in some writing before heading to Tim’s house for a dinner get together. All the trainees are invited to come over to socialize. I am looking forward. The afternoon was really good. We sang some songs to honor Hanuman as Tuesday is the official Hanuman day. I am really beginning to appreciate singing these devotional bajans. We covered some more alignment and adjusting techniques for the standing poses and we are up to Utthita Trikonasana.(extended triangle) I am looking forward to seeing Tim and his Carol in their home.

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

It feels really good to back in Tim’s shala. His new location is really beautiful!!! The last time Tam and I practiced with him he was in the process of building this space out and we were in an alternate location in Encinitas.
I woke up at about 4:30 this morning and made some tea and got ready. The room I am staying in is very quaint and right next to the train tracks in Leucadia. I got to Tim’s space early and we sat in the pranayama circle at 6am. It is great to see Tim!!! He is so casual and relaxed in his element and humerus. He went easy on us this morning with the pranayama which I am thankful for. I remember when I was first I introduced to the Pranayama practice I thought it was torture. Holding the breath for so long the lungs gasp for air. Having a bit of time to work with this at my own pace has taken a bit of the fear out of it. Yet some of those exhale retentions are so intense. Cheating a bit seems the only way to make it. Again I am thankful that he went easy on us. We then began asana practice and it was so sweet. The energy in his room is just so awesome. I kept thinking I wish everyone could come and practice here at least once in their life
to experience the vibe in his room. The skill level is so high and yet there are new students in the mix as well. I have been nursing a pinched nerve in my upper back for almost two weeks now so practice was fun but quite painful. I told Tim about this and he gave me the most critical adjustment. I am hoping it holds. Non the less, just to be able to have the opportunity to work with the sensation and move with it seems the only practical solution. The only thing that would make this trip better would be if Tam and I were here together. She is my yoga companion and we always do these things together. I feel so lucky to have her in my life. The weather here seems so out of the ordinary. In the low 70’s and perfect. The rest of the country is getting seared and So Cal is just as pleasant as ever. It is obvious because there are so many people here and the freeways are pretty thick. I love it here so much and I do miss it. I am soaking up every moment.
The afternoon was very informative and fun. One thing I really appreciate about Tim’s teaching is how he remains so relaxed and comfortable. It is great to hear his understanding of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, which is becoming quite clear is a lifelong study and application. I appreciated his emphasis on the importance of expressing joy for other’s successes as a key toward happiness. The other element that I find impressive is his love for Guruji. He truly absorbed his teacher’s teaching. This becomes very apparent in listening to him speak of his guru. After the training session I sat and observed his Intro to Ashtanga class. It blows me away because Tim is so natural with his students regardless of their ability. He takes equal enthusiasm in working with everyone regardless of there skill level. He really enjoys a challenge and the more difficult scenarios seem to bring great satisfaction. I found it extremely inspirational to think about teaching with this much verve 25 years from now. I hope to have a half of Tim’s enthusiasm down the road. I am so thankful to have this time here!

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I am in the air somewhere between Palm Beach and Houston en route to San Diego. Getting ready to participate in a 2nd series ashtanga yoga training with Tim Miller. I have to admit, I am very excited. My experiences practicing with Tim in the past have been nothing short of amazing. Tim is such a wealth of knowledge and experience that it inspires me greatly to experience the yoga near him. Tam and I were living in San Diego when we decided to go and study Ashtanga with Guruji in India. At that point we were unaware that Tim was so close by. I think now that perhaps that was meant to be. Had Tam and I gone to his space and saw how serious and devoted his students were perhaps we would have been intimidated to go to India. Maybe it would of felt like were weren’t ready or something. Truly, we were so green going to Mysore we were besides ourselves upon entering the shala there. Yet we had travelled so far there was no chickening out at that point. I sometimes ask myself, why, what would be so intimidating about practicing yoga with guruji in india if seen from the eyes of someone who hasn’t been there. Personally, I think that the level of practice there seemed so beyond what I thought was possible I wasn’t sure if I had what it took to dive that deep. Looking back, what a wonderful experience. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. When we were there and we told people we were from San Diego their immediate response was, “oh, you are one of Tim’s students.” We new at that point, based on how much respect and adoration the community, guruji included, had for Tim that we were destined to study with Tim when we returned home. That being said, I will never forget my first day in Tim’s shala on E street in Encinitas. He was so kind, asked my name and welcomed me very warmly. I felt like I found a second home. My kukkutasana was so bad. Kukkutasana is rooster pose and entails deep hip flexibility to sit in lotus and then even more to get the arms to slide through some so called space in between. I had been struggling with this and was truly surprised Sharath (guruji’s grandson) let me get by with it. Basically, I was painfully aware that it needed some work. I remember Tim coming over, looking at me with one of those looks that say, “what is this?” He sat down, and adjusted me so deep into the pose so elegantly and painless, rolled me around 8 times and then popped me up into the pose. The feeling of excitement I had was so overwhelming. Somehow the impossible became possible. I was beside myself. Something so simple really. When I break it down the only thing that happened from the outside was my body moved into a certain shape. On the inside I felt as if I had been shown or introduced to something so powerful that I knew I would forever continue this practice. I had the feeling that through this practice perhaps I could achieve some peace and contentment. So now with all of that being said, 6 years later, I am heading back for more. I want to express my unending love to my wife for being willing to encourage me and give to me the time to pursue this and also to all of my family and friends who continue to be so supportive. Also to everyone who continues to practice. Any and all practice. Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

A special thanks to Jeanine and Lululemon for organizing and facilitating a great yoga session on Juno Beach!!!

Native Yoga Center
833 Donald Ross Rd
Juno Beach, FL 33408
www.nativeyogacenter.com
561-296-7996