We are getting so close to the end. I am so looking forward to getting back home!!!!! Yet also don’t want this training to end.
Opening the heart is such a profound experience. There are so many books and manuals available these days to help guide us along this process. I am finding that it is so different for each person though. My own personal experience is that of continuous navigation. The deep work that comes along with this process is so freeing and yet terrifying at the same time. It seems to be this continuous sense of wanting to hold on and yet feeling so much lighter when the grip softens. I can definitely say, better to dive in then sit on the shore and wonder what diving in would be like!

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

I was walking down the beach the other day just below Swami’s and I met this guy named Yogi Shane playing the harmonium. I walked over and listened to him bust out the most radical devotional songs……super classic. Because we had the morning off with no class, today I went down there again. He told me he had begun burying his body in the sand while in a yoga pose. I had to admit that it was a really unique idea. I gave it a try and he dug a deep enough hole so that I could sit in baddha konasana(feet together and knees toward the ground.) He then filled in the hole and packed the sand down. Really strong so that basically I couldn’t move at all. It was so awesome and intense at the same time. A dog ran up and started to lick my face and ears and I fully cracked up. Nothing I could do about out it. In Buddha meditation there is what is called adithan. Which means fierce sitting or sitting with no movement or with strong determination. This seemed to be following a similar thought current. A strange sense of anxiety cropped up but the process of staying present was so amazing. It took me about 10 minutes to dig myself out. I then went and jumped in the 68 degree water, (which is a heck of a lot colder than Florida) and seriously woke the senses. It was freakin’ awesome!!! We all just spent 5 hours in Yoga sutra study with Tim. The yoga sutras create an opportunity for deep introspection. So in many senses they are very challenging. Tim presents them in such a clear and concise fashion, with humor, and sincere insight. Being Tuesday, Hanuman day, we had an epic Hanuman chalisa session! The combination of the harmonium and the devotion behind the delivery is creating an interesting space for me. It is really growing on me.
One of the sutras that stood out for me today was to the effect of; when there is contentment there is no need to seek happiness. So simple right?? Yet how often are we in a place of contentment? True contentment!! Since most often we are in the place of seeking happiness through an event or experience. So to experience Santosha(contentment) the need to seek drops away. The sutras then point out; well, how to experience santosha when there is suffering? This seems to be the challenge. Hence the practice.

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

I find it very interesting that a yoga posture can be considered a gateway. A position of the body can serve as a porthole to another dimension. I suppose that dimension will differ for each individual and how we move ourselves into that dimension seems to be why practice is needed.
Our entrance from one moment to the next is marked by passage. Time according to nature is our usual method of measuring this movement. Either through our observation of the Earth’s rotation in relation to the sun or in the time it takes for a flower to bloom. One way or another the passing of time continues. In yoga practice we have what are called “gateway” postures. These poses are often very difficult for the beginner and require years of practice to achieve mastery in. These “gateway” poses are often very appealing to the eye because of the artistic lines of geometry that they create. When the yogi begins to enter into this “gate”, an incredible sense of possibility is facilitated. What we choose to do once we enter is also an interesting issue. Do we use this to enhance our ego or do we direct our attention toward greater levels of compassion for all beings? I think that if we can learn apply to proper level of commitment balanced with ease and steadiness we can enter into infinite possibility. Perhaps to try to put it more simply, yoga opens us up to our true reality.
On a lighter note. Tomorrow is full moon. I can’t express enough bow thankful I am for this. To have a day off from practice is such a blessing and to some maybe it is in disguise. Moon day give two days a month to reflect and rejuvenate. Tomorrow happens to be full moon. Typically during this time we are a little headstrong. Even more reason to relax.
It also give some time to do laundry. Right now I am watching the coin machine spin. The yoga practice is so amazing!!!!!!

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

This photo is taken from Swami’s beach looking up toward the SRF shala. Today was the beginning of the turning point. Yesterday I went to the chiropractor who discovered I had two ribs out and she managed to get them back in. I was able to smile again and breath so much easier. I still have some residual soreness but I can’t tell you how relieved I am to be back in alignment. That was over two weeks of excruciating pain!!!! Thank the heavens for chiropractors who know what they are doing. It is amazing how impossible it is to feel positive when our health is out of alignment. Which I think is further testament to the reality that our health is of the most utmost importance. It is is such a delicate balance to maintain health but it needs to be at the top of our priority. Without health one cannot focus on achieving enlightenment. There may be exception to this. Sometimes people that face severe illness come into an enlightened state by acknowledging that death is a part of the process and it is only a gateway into the next adventure. When this is the case there is nothing to fear.
Beyond such discussion, I went for a walk on the beach and met these two yogis playing harmonium and singing kirtan on the beach. Classic characters full of enthusiasm. One of them I hope to get to come to Florida to offer a workshop. We shall see. The waves were going off and although I am not ready to paddle is was great to watch everyone having so much fun.
I got to the studio at 1pm and everyone could see I was smiling again and it felt so good to be feeling back toward normal. Tim is as awesome as ever. We did a Kapotasana warm up which I observed for the most part and got a chance to help with a few adjustments. Super fun and learning some really effective assists. Because today is Saturday it is also Hanuman day so we sang the Hanuman chalisa again which I am loving. Myself and one other student are learning to play the chalisa on the harmonium so Tim is teaching us. The chalisa is so powerful. It has the power to melt even the hardest of hearts. After the session tonight I had the chance to eat some food with a group of yogis who have been at this for 20-30 years. Amazing conversation and insight. It is really inspiring to be surrounded by Ashtangis who have so much enthusiasm this far along the path. It is like climbing a mountain and the road is still really long up ahead and someone else is on the way back down and you ask them how much further and they say well it actually doesn’t end but how about I turn around and walk with you so we can enjoy a part of the journey together. This is so refreshing and inspiring. Just to have a discipline that is so engaging that each day it is as fresh and new as day 1. The depth just gets deeper. The yoga is never ending. It is not like a book, you pick it up read it and put it on the shelf. Yoga is like writing a book that has no beginning or end. You just keep writing because the moment is forever presenting itself.
I think all in all it was a day of releasing some garbage and ready to move forward. Jai!!!

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

Above is a picture taken looking from the Self Realization Fellowship to the south. Paramahansa Yogananda was given this land on the ocean at one of the most beautiful vista points in Encinitas. The gardens here are spectacular and offer a quiet place to sit and meditate. The ocean is so calm right now and the sun so bright that the reef below is clearly visible. It is one of my favorite spots here in San Diego. If you ever have the chance to pick up a copy of Autobiography of a Yogi it is well worth reading. I personally feel that the tracks that Yogananda laid here in Encinitas is what helped pave the way for Encinitas to be the yoga capital of the world. No joke. The energy here is out of this world. I officially declare Encinitas to be one of my most favorite places ever!!
Today has been a day of learning that far exceeded my expectations of what I came here to do. I am finding that I had this mental projection prior to coming that included several topics. Such as learn more about second series. Learn new techniques for adjusting. Because I have come into injury, I have had to seek help. This process has led me be to several professionals in the healing profession crossing several modalities. Massage, thai massage, acrobatic or suspended traction bodywork, acupuncture, chiropractic and energy work. All of which has really opened my eyes to greater levels of potential within this field of yoga or moving toward oneness. I am really beginning to shift my understanding of what yoga really means to me. All of this has come through the experience of pain. I remember the first time one of my original teachers said “pain is a gift.” I just could not wrap my head around that. It seemed absurd. How could discomfort be something I would want. I am continuing to see more and more that pain is just our bodies talking to us, sending a message that more or less asks us to be present and truly listen. But oh so difficult right? Especially when we are in the thick of it. I have to say that I learned more about my body yesterday by listening than I ever have by expressing movement through desire. I am so extremely thankful to my teachers and Tim is orchestrating this in such fine form I am forever grateful. I think that to give credit to Yogananda I am missing an even more important link. The Native American people have laid these tracks. I have to acknowledge the people before us and I deeply want to return to this understanding and respect for the land. While our culture holds quite a bit of karmic sorrow for those before us that we tried to dominate, I think it is time we embrace the culture that was already living what we wanted. I truly believe we are in for a big surprise moving forward. In a very positive way!

Peace

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

Day 4
My most difficult day yet. It is challenging for me to write this. Those of you that know me, know how much I love to be involved in the practice. Right now I am on the sidelines. I am injured and I have had to take the day off. This is so challenging for me. I know I will bounce back which gives me some respite. Yet this is such a humbling experience. In some ways I know this is good for me because it is reality and I need to face reality with courage and acceptance. All I can say is that the people I am surrounded by are so loving and supportive. Tim is being very understanding and for this I appreciate him even more. Of course, due to my nature, I would like to be writing and saying, “wow I moved forward in this incredible position that opened me up in ways I never thought possible.” However, instead I am just trying to manage pain and find the strength just to get in the room to sit and listen to the lectures. I attempted to practice and did one Surya Namaskar! Officially the shortest practice I have ever done. I am trying to see the good in this. If anything I have a new found respect for those with injuries who continue to practice even if it is modified and made its most simple of forms. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and just by writing somehow makes me feel a bit better. If anything I feel like letting go of my ego and my attachment to who I think I am might be what I am here for. As opposed to maybe I will grab my leg deeper in my backbend. After all of this I am still thankful to have this opportunity.

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

Day 3 ~ August 18, 2010

I just have to let go of my attachment to pushing my practice in the sense of performance. There is this facet of the Ashtanga yoga practice that encourages practice 6 days a week. This has many implications. One of which is development of perseverance. If you meet difficulty, you acquire patience instead of the other option, giving up. While there is no need to be a martyr, consistency is a important theme. When the sensation of pain arises, there is the need to develop some understanding that this is an inevitable part of the experience. Sometimes there is severe pain, so intense, that the obvious is to not practice. Often has been my approach. So going into todays practice I was a bit hesitant. I am here for the full experience so I managed to make it to the top of my mat again. So intense…seemingly purely muscle spasm I got to Bakasana(crane/crow) and realized I couldn’t go further. Here is the inherent difficulty. I do not like to respect my boundaries. While this in many ways has helped shape me into the experience I have had, I am seeing perhaps this is why this is what I face right now. I went into finishing series, savasana, and to the lobby. This is when the tears came. I remember when practicing with a not so generous teacher as Tim, I was told that I looked like a baby when I cry. I am okay with this and somehow tears for me often signal the coming of a shift. I am so ready for the shift. I am also familiar that sometimes this work is long and arduous. For this I am ready. I found someone for massage and acupuncture to see if I can help encourage this to move along. Deep work!!! And then more deep work!! Now the end of the day and after so much I am thoroughly ready to rest. I learned so much during the sessions today. I caught up with an old friend tonight who loaned me a board so I can get out in the waves. He also shared some insights into the local scene spanning San Diego which proved for some great conversation. This is only my third day and I feel like my entire world view has shifted. The process of seeking help to alleviate or come to grips with pain has brought some very interesting and enlightening individuals into my life today. The people I am meeting are sharing stories that are convincing me that we live in an incredible era. The shifts we are experiencing are opening us up to a profound way of experiencing life. Sometimes I feel maybe this is how it has been all along and I am just catching on. Or perhaps life is a divine comedy and someone is just now letting me in on the joke. One way or another I am thankful for each moment here.

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

Swami Sunset

Above is a photo of last night’s sunset over Swami’s surf break in Encinitas. Stunning!!! Small swell and longboarders sliding all over.
Just finished Pranayama practice with Tim and crew. Excellent session. Tim is walking us through step by step with details along the way. It is so good to hear all of this again and broken down in this fashion because it just sets in deeper each time. I am finding myself really enjoying the pranayama practice. What I really appreciate is that we are learning/practicing the exact practice Tim learned 30 years ago from Pattabhi Jois. In this respect there is something very special about learning this tradition in the fashion that it has been passed from teacher to student and generation to generation. This facet of learning produces a connection to an oral tradition that has remained in tact and when surrounded by Tim’s expertise here feels very strong and alive!! As we sat in a circle, the sun rose from the east and slowly illuminated the space and it felt so warm and relaxing. I am so happy to be here. The yoga practice has this profound capability to open us up to our true nature which is of peace and tranquility. Our minds reflect what our senses absorb from the outside. When we turn the mirror inward our true senses appear which at first may seem gross and ugly, yet with further inquiry, deep down, is an unending peace. The more I continue this practice the more I want to share it with others. It seems like the yoga could be first and foremost, all else following along in this wake of understanding.
I went back to the studio at 8:40am because Tim said he was going to sing the Hanuman Chalisa, a traditional Hindi song dedicated to Hanuman, the half monkey man who is the ultimate embodiment of the devotee. Tim played the harmonium and he was accompanied by an acoustic guitar and acoustic bass. There was over 50 people there in between the transition of the 7 & 9am class. INCREDIBLE!!!!! The energy was tremendous. Only in Tim’s shala!!! We then got into our Mysore practice. I got to set up next to an old friend who busted out a flawless 3rd series. Truly inspirational. I got a few key adjustments in Bekasana(frog), Karandavasana(duck) and in drop backs. I peeled myself off the floor from a long savasana and am now diving into breakfast. What a day. Right now I am just squeezing in some writing before heading to Tim’s house for a dinner get together. All the trainees are invited to come over to socialize. I am looking forward. The afternoon was really good. We sang some songs to honor Hanuman as Tuesday is the official Hanuman day. I am really beginning to appreciate singing these devotional bajans. We covered some more alignment and adjusting techniques for the standing poses and we are up to Utthita Trikonasana.(extended triangle) I am looking forward to seeing Tim and his Carol in their home.

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com

It feels really good to back in Tim’s shala. His new location is really beautiful!!! The last time Tam and I practiced with him he was in the process of building this space out and we were in an alternate location in Encinitas.
I woke up at about 4:30 this morning and made some tea and got ready. The room I am staying in is very quaint and right next to the train tracks in Leucadia. I got to Tim’s space early and we sat in the pranayama circle at 6am. It is great to see Tim!!! He is so casual and relaxed in his element and humerus. He went easy on us this morning with the pranayama which I am thankful for. I remember when I was first I introduced to the Pranayama practice I thought it was torture. Holding the breath for so long the lungs gasp for air. Having a bit of time to work with this at my own pace has taken a bit of the fear out of it. Yet some of those exhale retentions are so intense. Cheating a bit seems the only way to make it. Again I am thankful that he went easy on us. We then began asana practice and it was so sweet. The energy in his room is just so awesome. I kept thinking I wish everyone could come and practice here at least once in their life
to experience the vibe in his room. The skill level is so high and yet there are new students in the mix as well. I have been nursing a pinched nerve in my upper back for almost two weeks now so practice was fun but quite painful. I told Tim about this and he gave me the most critical adjustment. I am hoping it holds. Non the less, just to be able to have the opportunity to work with the sensation and move with it seems the only practical solution. The only thing that would make this trip better would be if Tam and I were here together. She is my yoga companion and we always do these things together. I feel so lucky to have her in my life. The weather here seems so out of the ordinary. In the low 70’s and perfect. The rest of the country is getting seared and So Cal is just as pleasant as ever. It is obvious because there are so many people here and the freeways are pretty thick. I love it here so much and I do miss it. I am soaking up every moment.
The afternoon was very informative and fun. One thing I really appreciate about Tim’s teaching is how he remains so relaxed and comfortable. It is great to hear his understanding of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, which is becoming quite clear is a lifelong study and application. I appreciated his emphasis on the importance of expressing joy for other’s successes as a key toward happiness. The other element that I find impressive is his love for Guruji. He truly absorbed his teacher’s teaching. This becomes very apparent in listening to him speak of his guru. After the training session I sat and observed his Intro to Ashtanga class. It blows me away because Tim is so natural with his students regardless of their ability. He takes equal enthusiasm in working with everyone regardless of there skill level. He really enjoys a challenge and the more difficult scenarios seem to bring great satisfaction. I found it extremely inspirational to think about teaching with this much verve 25 years from now. I hope to have a half of Tim’s enthusiasm down the road. I am so thankful to have this time here!

Todd McLaughlin
www.nativeyogacenter.com